I’ve started this post in my head probably 50+ times. I miss my blog, I miss my readers, I miss social media (facebook and twitter) and commenting on other blogs. The past couple of months have changed me. I am definitely a different person because of it. Saying that life has been a roller coaster – would be the understatement of the year. A lot has happened.
Just over 2 months ago I lost one of the most important things in my life… the constant love and companionship of my beloved Higgy. It was sudden. He got sick on a Wednesday and a trip to the regular vet and another to emergency on Sunday left my husband and I with giant holes in our hearts and a very quiet and empty car ride home. I have not been the same since. I won’t ever be the same. I can’t even say his name out loud or in my head without tearing up. He was more special to me than I could ever explain in a blog post, status update or tweet.
My angel Higgy gave me my life back after the sudden death of my first husband. It was because of him that I was able to sleep, smile and open my heart to love again. I think we both gave each other exactly what we needed in life. He helped me become the person that I am today and I in return was the best dog mommy I could be, by giving him the most comfortable life possible. I now add Higgins to the list of angels that continue to look out for me.
I made a promise to myself to get back to cooking and blogging… but how could I do that without talking about Hig and my absence from the Internet? He was such a major part of my life, my writing and my blog over the past 9 years. I need blogging back in my life. So I’m putting away the convenience foods, dusting off my camera, cleaning out the pantry and clipping recipes from the foot tall stack of magazines I plan to attack. I can’t say when or how often I will post, the plan is to ease back into things.
I will miss my little kitchen buddy… and I will certainly miss the Higga stares and licks I got as I laid on the floor to get the perfect food shot.
RIP my sweet baby Higgins…
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So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog. Take all the time you need and I look forward to your return.
Absence completely understood! I’m so sorry to hear about Higgins. I have no doubt he loved you and had a great life! ) (Also, he was beautiful!)
Such a sweet pup. I was glad I got to meet him.
I miss my friend who always greeted me at the door and planted himself near me for loves…. 🙁 I know that he is running bootless in heaven and tearing up the town…. 🙂 Auntie Kristen
Oh my gosh….I was just thinking about you today and wondering where the heck you have been! I was going to email you to check in! I was thinking you were just super busy with work. My heart is breaking for you because now…after being a new puppy owner for a little over two years know exactly how you feel! The loss of my baby girl Chesney would equal the loss of one of my own children…NEVER thought in a million years I could say that but its true. HUGS….HUGS…. to you my friend! Miss you!
I am so sorry to read this. I have been wondering where you have been. Hang in there!!!
My heart wraps around you.
When my cats/buds Moon and Lance-a-Little died, I crawled into bed head first and stayed there for days. My family had to fend for themselves.
I wanted to find my way back alone.
Best to you on your journey.
So very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet boy. It must be a huge whole in your lives, but we know how much you loved him.
Julie Q
Oh Kath – I’m just sitting at my desk in tears for you. Absolute tears. I know how much Higgins meant to you, and I know your heart is in a million pieces. It is so, so hard to lose a beloved pet – especially one that ushered you through a particularly horrific part of your life. I won’t lie to you, it takes a long, long time to feel “normal” again – to not burst into tears when you see someone else’s dog, to not think “what if.” All this is normal, and while it’s painful, it’s a testament to just how much he meant to you. I think the biggest sacrifice we make is letting our beloved pets move on to a place (I believe) where they are happy and healthy, while we remain here with a hole in our hearts.
I know what you are going through and I wish I could take your pain away. The only thing I can offer is that you will, at some point, start to heal. It might not seem like it, but it happens. Trust me on this. But you can’t rush it and you can’t skip over it.
Sending you so much love – if you need ANYTHING – please drop me a line. Jeez – it will be three years in June that we lost Murphy and JUST last night my husband and I were talking about something totally unrelated (a house he sold) and he remembered that the house closed the day we lost Murphy – and we sat on our deck and cried a little bit even though it had been so long.
They stay in our hearts forever – thinking of you and sending many, many hugs.
Foo, I’m so sad for you. What a good pup he was and I know how much you loved him. My heart goes out to you. I know what you mean about there being no words to convey your love for your pet and your sadness over the loss. It reminds me of when I lost my sweet Lou and so my tears are for all of us.
Big love and hugs. xo
What a sweet dog. Definitely a hard loss. I wish you the best as you keep on with the blogging.
Oh foo!! I’m so sorry to hear about Higgins. I loved your blog posts about him. It is really tough doing this. Remember, he loved you and you loved him and he was really instrumental in your healing. You gave him a great home and you were a great dog ma!! I lost my beloved cat of 12.5 years to lymphoma last year so I know how hard that was. It is still hard at times for me missing my kitty Jordan. A good friend gave me this book and it has helped me greatly. When you are ready, the book is ://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/coping-with-sorrow-on-the-loss-of-your-pet-moira-anderson-allen/1102043937?ean=9781598584530
Hugs to you!!!
RIP Higgins.
Cheryl
So sad to hear this news. I have no words of comfort, but I’ve been there and can offer you a big hug. He was special, indeed.
Our love and big hugs to you and Dan. We know how very special Higgins was to you.
Take care.
Oh, Kat…I am so sorry for Higginis…My heart cries for you.
I lost my German Sheppard when I was 13 years old and I honestly spent a whole year severely depressed.. I was afraid of getting a new animal because I didnt want to go through the same thing again.
But 13 years later I got a cat, which took me out of a dark, dark hole I was in. I hope you find the strenght in you to smile again and love another animal as you loved Hig.
Much love to you.
Dare I say that no other dog has ever been so loved and needed? It makes me cry to think about this loss and I have never met him. They say that dogs find their owner and I believe he found you just in time. He knew every second of the day that he was loved. Now he is enjoying ice cream cones in heaven. I am sure of that. Love you!
D
I’ve followed your blog(s) for quite a while now when I first started reading weight loss blogs. I could tell by your writing how important Higgie was to you. I also lost my beloved best friend (Lady – our brittany spaniel) last summer. It has been one of the hardest losses in my life. We tried to adopt another brittany about a month later, but after 6 days of constant crying (and my husband concerned that I was having a mental breakdown), we knew it was too soon. I still think about Lady every day and life will never be the same without her, but she brought so much joy into our lives over the 14 years she was in our lives. How wonderful for you that Higgie was there for you through some very difficult times as well as some wonderful times. Dogs truly are man’s best friend.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Higgins. I can’t imagine what a difficult time it has been for you. I know how special the bond can be between dogs and their human families, and yours and Higgins was definitely one of a kind. He was very lucky to have such a fabulous and loving owner.
I have missed you and your blog. Please be kind to yourself during this tough time.
Hugs,
Erinn
Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to describe my sadness right now, my friend. I know he was integral in helping you through the devastating loss when Ace died, and I just cannot imagine how you are feeling. Sending you tons of love and hugs, Kath. Rest peacefully, sweet Higglebee Tuna.
I have been out of town and was so happy to see a blog from you and then so sad to see it was about losing your beloved Higgy. I am so very sorry. There are just no words. My dog, Barkley, has also seen me through some dark times also (loss of my husband) and I do not know what I would do without him. I have told him he has to be with me forever. I cannot imagine the day he is not. My heart aches for you and I wish for you is that your heart not be so heavy and that your sadness lightens in time. Hugs to you and Dan……
Kath,
I am so sorry to hear about higgy, my heart goes out to you and Dan.
Kathleen….
My heart is breaking for you. Higgy was a very lucky little man and your mutual love and adoration for each other was evident. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Lots of love to you.
Rachel